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High School or in other words Secondary School, at least that’s what we call it here in Malaysia, was a tough time for me.
I did not enjoy it. I hated it, in fact. I struggled to find my own identity and embracing my authentic self.
Thankfully, I had a few friends who are dear to me till today. They made the whole experience a lot better for I definitely would have flunked out. My grades were good but the experience was just bad. I definitely did not fit in. But then again, high school was not just a tough time for solely me. The world definitely did not revolve around JUST ME. I bet it was equally a tough period for many as well.
Being in high school taught me various lessons but I will just highlight one.
The most important lesson it taught me was to embrace my authentic self. I’ve mentioned it earlier, I know.
As I said, I wanted to fit in with the crowd. Somehow, I always find myself being the odd one out. I did not like it. As I grew older, I realised that one’s own uniqueness is special. Why would I want to be just like the rest? How will I stand out? How will I find my group of people, if I’m just like everyone?
I used to fear what others would think, conform to the current fashion then because it would deem me more beautiful or cooler. Eat a certain way, not because it was healthy but because I wanted to lose weight or it was the trend then. It was very toxic and definitely did not help with my mental health.
Besides that, I remembered I used to starve myself just because I wanted to lose weight. Being obsessively thin was considered the most beautiful thing then when in actual fact, it is one’s own personality that highlights the individual regardless of their physical attributes. Physical attributes are just merely that. True, they attract certain individuals and by societal standards, one may deem attractive or not. However, at the end of the day, a person may be physically attractive with all the right physical qualities yet have an extremely negative demeanour.
Now, I’m not saying that you should totally disregard your health, personal hygiene, skip shower and toss away that comb.
But a person should be how they are because they want to NOT because it is what society wants. Thus, if you are a person who likes to go to the gym because it contributes to your self-esteem and health, then by all means, please continue to do so because it is solely for you. Not because you have to look a certain way. If you are a person who loves to wear make-up on a daily basis because it makes you look presentable at work or anywhere and contributes to your productivity and work, then it is a good thing. If you are on a particular diet because it is better for your stomach and you find that it suits your body, then continue to do so.
I hope you understand what I am trying to convey here. It is about a mindset shift, something that I have gotten totally wrong back then.
It is important that when I actually choose to do something, it is at the end of the day for myself and about how I feel after that particular action. Though people may judge, but truth is, people are gonna judge anyway or they may not even care because most of the time we are self-conscious about our own decisions. Nobody fully pays attention all the time.
Embrace your uniqueness! You, yourself are the one and only 🙂
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The Theoretical Doctor 